Hello , if you've been reading any of my posts you will see I'm a little faith based. Today is one of those humbling moments. In todays post I talk about falling away, letting things drag. Things have been difficult, odd and just haven't felt right. I started this website to show what God has given me to build and more importantly the words he has given me to write. In the last month I've been convicted that its been a long time since I've written, new ideas and titles have popped into my brain and the words have just poured out. That's when I know its from him. The part you don't know is, yes I have been obedient in my writing, to a point. I literally have papers and binders all over the house with titles, paragraphs and pages of things I had to stop and write down because they were important and I knew where they came from, and I'm not going to take this leading for granted. My phone seems to be my preferred writing tablet its with me at all times with a quick jot of words and I can get back to what I was doing and continue on later.
Vickie's anniversary of her death came up first, January eleventh. I decided this year to hold off on things about the day and chose her birthday instead.
So two days before her birthday I think I'm a novelist. (Side note I have most of the chapters of a book picked out, I know I got a little ahead of myself.) I write and write but it needs to be perfect, a week later I'm still writing and its long, but this is where I got convicted.
How am I honoring God? He literally has been giving me these words to say, their stacked all over my house and are filling up my phone.
I was ok to write but I became afraid to share. To let others see it, what He had put on my heart. Where does this fear come from? It does not come from the Lord. Next point, I am sick for the third time in three months of this new year. If this isn't a sign to pick up the computer and get at it nothing is.
Lastly, how does one drive traffic to a sight that has grown very quiet. My first thought is share what I write on Facebook. But there the fears abound, what will people think? But what's the point of hiding what God has given me to say. I'm obviously not missed by the masses, and to think God will lead the people who need to read this to the site is just fear and trying to make God my genie in a bottle who will take care of my whims when I'm afraid to.
So I'm going to try keep this as the lead blog, but I have a lot of stories I need to put out here. They may seem a little out of sorts and out of order but I'm going through the notes on my phone and starting with the oldest writing the thank you I wrote for Vickie's funeral, transferring the date so these will all be in chronological order of when they came out of my heart. The counter is going to look really strange for blogs read but this is how God heals a widowed heart and that's what's important.
Thank you for suffering through my long explanations. If you have a question or comment please drop me an email, I would love to here from you.
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