"Simon, Simon, look out, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
Luke 22:31-32
What can be said about a verse such as this.
I picked up my computer filled with the most vial anger, after the events of this day I sit here stunned and in absolute shock. Since Vic's birthday my communication has been low. I know I've been dropping the ball. And I am to get back to the path you laid out. So I moved the things you put on my heart from my phone to the website, knowing full well when I take a stand in your name he will come after me with everything he has.
I never saw this coming.
It's been four years, you both have watched me try to make in roads. You have heard me petition and pray for it. You have watched me question myself over and over "am I seeking this for Gods glory or for my glory from people?"
So can I mention here at this point this is where I give up?
Back to our verse up top "But I have prayed for you" yes that's pretty awesome, the creator of the universe in my corner praying for me.
But I got to say reading it on the page and now being thrust into the middle of this thing, I did nothing!! How am I here?
Here's an Idea, just roll with me on this.
Phone ringing Picks up.
Satan speaks.
Satan here, ya I want to sift Neil, like wheat???
Neil speaks.
Ummm. Lets try this.
NO!!!
Jesus replies
You see Satan he just understood something pretty huge and If I let you Sift him the way I can see your thinking the wheels are going to fall off this thing and he's probably going to walk.
Yeah, Yeah I know.
I saw that when he was frustrated and he said
"Bring it on I got nothing left what could you possibly do to me!"
I know that got your goat but you forget something here.
I'm in charge!
Your not!
And Neil's not!
"Oh so you think he's weak and I've been coddling him to long. Why yes, yes that is an interesting perspective, hey I've just had something come to me can I get you to hold please?
Oh really, well that was a rhetorical question I would think you understand that by now so I'm just going to hit that hold button and let you keep talking to elevator music.
Dialing...
Jesus Speaks
"Hey how are you Dad?
Yeah you were listening to that eh... I know, what a hot head.
So as he was going on about us coddling him You saw that Idea I had? Yeah you had it to eh.
So I'm gonna step into the time line here for a second and make the change we were thinking of... Yeah I know, Neil's gonna fight this one, yeah we both know that fights all he's got left, yeah I saw that, that's right where his faith is. Yeah I know I've started praying for that outcome once we thought it, yeah you were praying for him to eh? Cool! Ok Ill tell Satan, yeah he's probably pretty hot by now, lake of fire and all. Oh yeah you heard about the remix we got done for the hold line ACDC highway to heaven. Yep should be fun, see you at supper, yeah I know, I've always known, Love you to."
Hangs up and releases hold button.
"I appreciate you holding Mr. Satan We have decided to grant your Sift request."
"Yes, yes you sure can laugh a lot Mr. Satan, you do seem to be quite excited but in the state of truth and fairness I'm going to let you know something."
"I have prayed for him!"
"So you do what you think is necessary."
"Oh really? You do know I can always put you back on hold?"
Click.
"Hello... Hmm apparently he had to go."
Ok team lets pull Neil up here on the big screen!
Oooo!
Ok not his finest moment, some resentment bubbling up there ok, we've prepared for this, people its gonna get a little bumpy here for a stretch so buckle up.
Oops, yeah, he said that didn't he.
Ok well, Neil your forgiven!
Oooo, Wow!!
Well Neil we know this is going to be hard.
Ok bring in the Angels and Saints, yep yep perfect, now his cloud of witnesses.
Ok that's it, that's it, this is working.
Ouch!!!
Ok everyone saw that one to? Yep.
Ok lets just take him down from the big screen till this passes. And people you all saw that last one so you know what to pray for, he cant do this alone, so lets step it up. Remember your training people, there's no condemnation here just Love so lets get him through this.
Neil writes.
Good evening team "I AM", I appreciate you letting me write this way. I know your all behind me but can I say I still like my option better. The "NO" option, because over the last four years I haven't been hit by the full onslaught of Mr. Satan's sifting and after today I realize how much I took for granted. But when it's been something I've worked so hard at and I felt it aligned with your will. Then living this latest development really hurts, and I know you slipped something in there that's going to make this work out for my good. But as all my other fears about the situations like this go, its that this good is on the other side, on your side' not here and now.
I know I'm not the first to ask this, and I wont be the last but, can you drop just a dusting of some of that good on this side. And let me be so bold as to ask? It doesn't need to fall on me, It doesn't even need to be someone I know. Just give me that feeling that the sufferings of this world aren't all in vain.
Jesus, you saw the end goal, you knew what could come from your actions. I don't... totally, I have my faith, the faith that what I read is true. Faith that your the one behind whatever I think, say, write, and do. I don't see the whole picture, I never will, I just see enough to continue forward. But that's your plan, isn't it?
As my anger cools and my vision clears...
Let him sift. :(
Sorry but I have no snappy closing line for this one. I know I gotta face what's coming.
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